BAM! 2014

Happy New Year everyone!  I...am excited.  I'm excited for you.  I'm excited for me.

For me, 2013 was...as close to perfect as I've experienced.  I started working out and eating better in January 2013, and as a result...everything around me changed.  Physically, I felt healthier, emotionally I felt happier.  Those are the 2 things everyone strives for to really feel good.  We don't need material things or significant others to feel good....those are bonuses, but we need ourselves to feel good FIRST.

I've met some new fantastic people to add to my Fantastic People Circle.  Motivational, fun, HAPPY, inspiring people that I'm so proud to know, and I'm incredibly encouraged by them.

This year I got down 45 lbs...and was feeling awesome and extremely confident, though I still had a lot of work to go, I felt great.  THEN....these holidays happened.  Gained 10 lbs.  For the last 2 weeks I've been down on myself about it, haven't been exercising as much (partially because the studio has been closed but reopens tomorrow!!!!).  So, 11 months, I barely slipped  up at all, and when I did I just worked it off guilt-free.  But yes, holiday booze, holiday treats, lack of zumba, blah.  That did it.  I've felt off, dressing in baggier clothes, not having as much energy, confidence slipping....but it's over.

I let it keep going through today and now...I'm excited.  Our next Biggest Loser Challenge starts tomorrow and I'm so ready.  I'm going to hit that 50 lb mark within 3 months.  That WAS only 5 lbs away, but now is about 15.  But I am SOOOO so ready I can't hardly contain my excitement, and that alone is starting to give me my confidence back.  I'm going to make this year just as terrific as 2013 and by the end....a realistic goal, I'll be down a total of 60 lbs.  I think I can do more, but....small goals first.  Ready to rock it!

Now for you.  I know many of you have had a very hard 2013.  Many.  For all of you, I hope for new beginnings for you.  Loved ones you've lost, families who have split, problems with your children, you made it through.  You did, and you will continue to push through.  For you, I want you to know how proud I am of how you've handled your situations, each and every one of you, and how I'm sorry for the issues you've been dealt, and how very excited and hopeful I am for you to have a fresh start.  Some may be starting completely over, and some may just be ready....for the next round, but I'm excited for you to just....get the moments to breathe, look around, and see all that you DO have. We are so capable; we just need to truly believe in ourselves.  Trust that you'll be okay.   I love you all and let's all look forward to a fantastic 2014!

See that person over there? Compliment them.

Never feel awkward about paying someone a compliment…not only can it make a person feel good, but it may give them a boost they need to keep going.

The past couple weeks have been tough for me.  Everything around me that has to deal with plumbing, electricity, or a motor…seems to be breaking.  It’s been stressful to say the least.  While I haven’t been necessarily eating “terribly” – I haven’t been put the effort into “paying attention” like I was.  And for the last few nights at Zumba….I just haven’t been giving it my all.  I’ve been at roughly the same weight for about a month, and then gained 3 lbs in booze and candy weight.  I was really starting to feel discouraged after 10 months….I was worried that I was starting to wind down.

Yesterday I said under no circumstance would I eat ANY Halloween candy from anywhere, and I would not have a drink after work, which for some reason has been delightful lately.  I got home from work, toasted a bagel, drank some water, and changed into my Zumba clothes.  As I changed I looked in the mirror and was annoyed with myself.  Then I went to the studio.  I was standing there waiting for class to start and one of the other girls who is a regular in this class came up to me and said “Have you been losing weight?”  I said “I have….I’m down 45 but I’ve been stuck here for a long time and I need to snap out of this” and she said “that can be hard…but I can tell you’ve been losing”.  She, herself, has lost 83 lbs!!!  

And that’s all it took.  I gave it my all last night and sweated like crazy….and went to bed feeling amazing….AND….the scale was rewarding this morning by dropping my 3 lbs of Halloween sabotage weight.  Now to keep going so I can just get to 50!!!!  My point is…I knew I’d lost weight….but I’d been stuck for so long, that I couldn’t see it anymore….and then this sweetheart of a girl pointed it out and it gave me back my drive to keep going!  Not like I was going to quit, but my attitude was definitely shifting.

Not that long ago this happened to me again (well I guess it was the first time).  I’m on dating websites.  One day I was feeling particularly bad about this weight loss plateau….and I got a message from a guy who said “I saw you at the Flame.  You are so beautiful”.  Now…people compliment your pictures online and come on….we always use our BEST pictures online, right?  So normally I wouldn’t really think much of that….but he saw me….in person….candidly.  I even responded “when did you see me?”  and he said “the weekend before last…you were sitting at the bar”.  Dead on.  Yes I was.  I was so flattered that someone saw me candidly, while I wasn’t “sucking in” or standing upright with perfect posture, etc…I was just lounging with a pal (who is stunningly gorgeous by the way) and he took notice.  It made me feel wonderful – and again…pulled me out of the funk.

That said, we are truly the only ones who can make ourselves feel better.  But when you see that someone has worked hard for something and you take notice….tell them.  Whether it be their body, their yardwork, their cooking, their smile, their job, their writing, how well their children behave, tell them.  Sometimes people just need some encouragement.  It’s not selfish…it’s being human.  Sometimes I think people are so concerned with how their kindness will be perceived…that they forget how it feels to be noticed.  Take the risk of sounding flirty or “sucking up”.  You’ll make someone’s day.

Passion

Passion.  It’s the only word I can think of to describe 2013.  I ended 2012 in a sorrowful, pitiful funk...and started 2013 with force.  I aimed to do things a little differently and I have, and I feel like I’m truly about to burst at the seams with how passionate I feel towards…everything!  It's as if I can't wait another minute...for whatever is about to happen in the next minute!

Gym – it’s not that exciting, but thanks to my dear friend Mandy letting me borrow her Nook…I look forward to it every day.  I’ve never been able to read and ACTUAL book on any workout machines, too hard to read a steady line, and keep the book open.  But with the Nook, big font, lies flat – perfect!  AND this way I don’t stay up super late reading, I only read when I’m at the gym so with a good book…it’s something to look forward to, and before I know it my time is up – sometimes it’s WAY up and I’ve had no idea!  Great!

Zumba – yeah yeah – I’ve said it before, but I just love it.  I love the music, I love that it makes me interested in actual dance, I love the workout, and I love the people.  I have made quite a few new friends through several nights of Zumba, and have dragged several of my friends to zumba as well.  The instructors are so positive, it’s not like they are there to do their job and force you to bust your ass…it’s like they are there to have fun with you and make sure you’re having a good time (while busting your ass).  I put this on Facebook a while ago…but it’s fitting for this blog.  During our last session in the former studio, the instructor (Jill) killed us with a particular routine.  When it was done I said to her (while out of breath) “How do you not die?”  and without skipping a beat she said “You live!”  So simple.  Love that girl.

Friends – Broken record I know, but I do know the greatest people, and I challenge you to disagree.  Although if you're reading this, you are probably one of them...so no reason to disagree!  It’s almost overwhelming at times because I want life to slow down.  People often say “don’t you think you’re too busy?”  But I don’t.  I’m very, very busy yes...but I keep it balanced.  My “me time” – is when I’m doing what makes me happy.  All of this makes me happy.  Working out, solo or in a group, and seeing my friends...  Yes, it may be hard to schedule things sometimes, but I really do make an effort to spend time with everyone.  Everyone reading this (and not reading this) is important to me.  Once again we had a beautiful 4^th of July.  Every year a group of us goes to Island Lake. This was my first year without my sweet Budha.  BUT…1. I happened to be watching my friends’ dog for the week so I brought him along, and  2. Happiness is what you make of it.  Beautiful day, with fantastic friends….bliss.

Kitchen – I FINALLY made it to a comfort level financially to remodel my kitchen (nothing major, but to me, it was major) – and though I still have one window and one door to trim, I did it….and it feels fantastic.

Dating – I’ve been dating again recently and it feels great.  No one person in particular but just being back “out there” after being is such a miserable funk last fall/winter.  I love meeting new people.  Or…even being stood up can bring about a hilarious story when you have good friends to laugh about it with (Thanks Amanda, Lisa, and Mandy!).

I feel great.  I’m conscious of what I eat, and how much or little I work out in a day.  I’m remembering to appreciate the small things, to be grateful for what little I have and know it can always be worse, and to really let people know how big of an influence they are in my life even if they don’t think so (and if you haven’t heard it from me yet, know that it’s true for you as well).

I just feel like…after having a miserable 30, and a tough time breaking into 31...I’m finally at a point where...not only am I accepting of it…but I’m ruling it!

Feeling Disgusting and Loving it!

I just posted on Facebook "sweating out of my earholes".  That's pretty accurate.  Let me explain.  I've battled for many years with trying to lose weight.  I've probably lost like 250 lbs if you add up all the times I've lost the same 10!  A few years ago I lost 29.8 lbs.  That was my record.  Then over time I gained about 37 back.  Hmph.

Well...throughout all of this, I've still remained active, but not increasingly active.  Same activities, gym, walking the pup, volleyball, wallyball...but never really bumping it up.

I lost my pup in August.  After swallowing several struggles and always being happy to bounce back when I saw that face..that was the straw that broke the camel's back.  It wasn't just the missing her, it was everything that she healed....reopening.  I don't expect that to be understood...she just...she was the best part of my day.  That's it.  Love my friends, family, life, but regardless of what struggle was at hand...she was never a part of the tough times.  So...bottom line is I lost her in August and it took MONTHS to get - I don't want to say "happy" or "better" but "rejuvenated".  In December I realized there were many things I was just losing interest in, places I didn't want to go, people I didn't want to see, and to top it off - none of my clothes were fitting and I was at a point of accepting that.

I felt unhappy and therefore wasn't caring much about my appearance.  I didn't care much about my appearance, and therefore felt unhappy. I'm going to skip over the more personal stuff and cut to the chase...basically one day I realized I just don't want to fall victim to my own mistreatment. I don't want to wake up at 50 and feel like I'm 80. 

So....on December 28th, I said "Screw New Years, I'm starting now!", and I started eating right, and even bit the bullet and went to a Zumba class.  in about 13 weeks I lost 30.2 lbs.  A new record, barely, but a record none-the less.  Was it hard?  Not really.  That's what makes the "hard times"....HARD!  I didn't have trouble at all with it, a mini vacation had some set backs, as did not getting to the gym a couple times just due to timing issues....but I bounced back easy peasy.  However in the past 2 weeks, I've lingered between  maintaining and gaining 5.  Why?  Because I've just been in a funk...nothing major just small stresses getting on my nerves. So today I vowed that that's enough slacking and that I'm not going to stop just because I broke my previous record. 

So...I came home from work after a really long, exhausting day and more than anything I wanted a beer.  But instead I went to Zumba...I was mopey and in a daze the whole way there thinking about internal stresses and how to handle them and that really...in the grand scheme of life....they are nothing.  They are blessings really.  "Ohhh waaa...work is tough" - I have a job.  "Ohhh waaaa I want my kitchen remodel finished" - I have shelter.  Shut up, self.  So I got to Zumba....and it was a blast - and literally - that's the most I've sweat in a couple months...and I go to Zumba 3+ times/week!  I felt and still feel great.  Disgusting, but great  - and I feel like I've got that little extra umph to get back on track!

Every time I do well with losing, I get confident and then when I stop losing, well...it seems like a public defeat.  I hate that.  Is it going to happen again?  Let's be honest - of course the potential exists...but I feel great and I have the motivation and confidence to say...I'm looking forward the Facebook status I post that says "Today...down 50 lbs".  I hope to have that written sometime over the summer.

For now, my happy, sweaty, disgusting self...is calling it a day. Good night all.

Holidays: This Blog's for You

I am asking you to do most of the work in this blog.  I want to know what your holidays are like.  Do you have to travel far enough to take a plane, a train, or a road trip longer than 6 hours?  With whom do you get together?  Your parents?  Your children?  Your in-laws?  Yourself?  What do you do?  Tell stories?  Play games?  Go to church?  If you get together with family, how often do you see them?  Do you do a Christmas dinner?  How many houses do you have to attend?  What does it mean to you?  Is it just another day?  A sentimental time?  Does it make you happy or stress you out?  What do you love about it?  What do you wish was different?

Okay, now really think about all of those questions. Tell me the answer.  Tell me what the holidays are like for you.  Now...a lot of people comment on my blogs via facebook, however, if you choose to remain anonymous please comment on the blog itself as "Anonymous".

I've had several different styles of Christmas.  I've spent some completely alone (well with Budha), I've spent some with just the folks, some with far away relatives, one with a family I just met even though had always been a part of, and some with siblings and children.  I've had several days to bask in holiday days off, and I've also been very rushed...but I want to know about yours. 

Do tell.

Mind Mishmash

This blog post is going to be about no one specific thing.  Just killing time on a Sunday.

1. Gilda.  A few weeks ago, I adopted a kitty.  I went to the Duluth Animal Allies to get an adult male cat...and instead ended up in Superior getting a female kitten.  Ironically she was a stray cat hanging around a coworker's house and after days of caring for her, he brought her to the shelter (her son had named her "Cutie").  They couldn't keep her, as they already have 3 cats of their own.  He told me this story the night before I went looking for a kitty.  When I got to Superior I was already pretty convinced it just wasn't mean to be that day.  Then I saw this cute little blonde/orange cat and I picked her up and she fell asleep in my arms.  The name on her cage said "Cutie".  "It's you!" I said to her.  And we were in the car together in 5 minutes.  The first night I had her, I knew I could not keep her name.  She kept me up for most of the night licking my face and "Cutie - go lay down!" just doesn't work.  (plus she's not a dog and doesn't listen to these commands anyway).  So after a couple days of observing her, her golden fur, golden eyes, and humorous behavior.  Her name became "Gilda".

2. No one needs to wish you a good day.  It disgusts me - I mean DISGUSTS me that people actually put time and effort into bitching about people saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas".  Beliefs aside....stop being an ass.  No one needs to wish you a happy anything if you're just going to complain.  Guess what?  There are SEVERAL holidays in the "Holiday" season.  It's like if I said "Have a good day" and someone got offended because I was specific to say "Have a good Sunday".  It's gross.  If you really are going to complain over someone wishing you happiness, take a look at yourself.  Just because someone doesn't say "Merry Christmas" doesn't mean they are boycotting it, and even if they do have different beliefs, what does it say about the person who gets offended.  Nice peaceful attitude.    I just can't believe that people have such a need for controversy in their lives that it overtakes what is "meant to be" a joyous time of year.   It's so easy to just be nice and respect each other and yet these days it seems people care more about creating debates about ANYTHING just to be heard.  Honestly get a life if you're going to get worked up over something so petty.  There are more important things in the world.  Get over it.  It is a very selfish way to behave.  As I said...no one needs to wish you a happy anything...

3. Dogs.  I miss my Budha every day.  Every. Day.  And I love Gilda, she is wonderful.  But I still think I will need to get another dog at some point.  Yesterday I thought "An Austrailian Shepherd would be a good addition to this house".  Really of course, I would end up choosing whatever dog caught my heart....whenever that may be. 

4. House.  I finally got that annoying area above my stairs painted.  Looks good.  I wonder what the next project will be.  Lots of them to choose from I guess.  When I really think about it though, I've put a lot of work into the house in 6 years.  But mostly - I need a new roof....and I would love to get rid of that big heavy bathtub someday.

5. Not exactly where I wanted to be at this point, but you can't really plan on these things.  Almost 31, single, no kids, and relying on roommates to get debt paid down...not only is that hard to swallow by itself, but also tough to watch when you seem to be the only one on that side of life.  I don't expect people to understand it. 

6. Thanksgiving.  I rarely leave town for Thanksgiving.  I've always enjoyed doing my own Thanksgiving for people who have nowhere else to go, or who just want to spend time together.  One year it was just me and Tom - and a LOT of food!  I've had as few as 2 and as many as 13 people during Thanksgiving.  Well this year I'll go down to my brother's house   It will be nice to see the family and spend the day together.  Maybe I'll try to do my orphan thanksgiving next weekend.  :)  We'll see.  But for all of you who have spent previous Thanksgivings with me, thank you, have a wonderful day, and I'll let you know if I do one at a later time. 

7. In my mind it's practically March.  Thanksgiving next week, Christmas in December, Tom is coming in January (yea!), I am going to Oregon in February, and everything is just happening a little too fast.

8.  I've been awake for several hours and it's still not even noon.  What to do for the rest of the day?  Lots of things I "should" do but don't feel like it.  Puppysitting right now for the big boy and the little girl.  Henry is sticking his bottom lip out. 

Well I'm rambling so that's the end of this nonsense blog.  Not my finest, but kept me busy for a little while anyway.  Stay tuned for the next blog on www.timeforgirlsdinnernight.blogspot.com.  I should write that one up later tonight (or for sure by tomorrow night).

To All Kids and Teenagers

I write this for all the youth of today. 

Bullying.  About 2 years ago I talked with a young woman (just out of high school) about bullying.  I said "Bullies have been around forever, it's really no different".  I was wrong about that.  Social media is a great tool.  Is social media to be blamed for bullying?  No...but we have to educate kids more on all aspects of social media, it's not just Facebook, but YouTube, even texting is a form of social media.  I have no kids.  I don't know how this is handled in schools today.  I DO know that bullying seems to be taken MUCH more seriously now than I ever remember in schools, and that is wonderful.  But what are the proactive measures?  I honestly don't know.  It's my hope though that there are more social skills classes beginning at a young age, not only about treating others as you'd like to be treated, but also really educating kids (repeatedly) about the dangers of any electronic posts and how they aren't going to disappear in a day, or even only be seen by the intended viewers.

Yesterday on CNN I saw this story about a teen suicide after bullying.  I'm 30 years old.  It breaks my heart to see that someone so young, was pushed to this limit...and will never know how life could have been great for her.  What's more upsetting is that this isn't a unique case.  This is happening more and more and we need to help save these kids!  Times aren't what they were....this story explains even if the parents move their kids to a new school...bullying through social media can follow.

The most important thing I want to say to all of these kids before I go any further is this:

*PUSH THROUGH YOUR TEEN YEARS!  IT WILL GET BETTER!*

 

It's not easy.  If you're in school, and kids are mean to you, tormenting you, you lose your best friend, you lose all your friends, that is terrible.  It is TERRIBLE.  BUT...you HAVE to be strong because life goes by fast and you just have to get through school.  Once you get through school, you can move on to college or if you don't go to college, you can still move on to adulthood.  Kids/Teenagers often time behave the way they do...to be accepted.  And if that means hurting others....unfortunately that happens.  But if you can get through that....just keep fighting it every day there is light at the end of the tunnel.  When you are on your own, through the dramatics of high school, that is your time to shine.  You don't need all those people surrounding you, you will have your independence to find out who YOU are and build new friendships.  By that point, you are going to be surrounded by others like you who are just trying to becoming their own person, and none of this petty stuff will matter anymore.  By then if someone treats you badly, it will not only be easier to walk away from that person, but it will also be your time to tell them how childish they are behaving.  No one should ever disrespect another person, but after high school...it's even more unacceptable - and any self respecting adult should be embarrassed if they ever make another person feel inadequate.

 

Another thing you should know...if you have bullies now, a lot of them will probably have regret in the future about the way they treated you.  Does that help you now?  Probably not, but it's another example of how people grow.  Grade school and high school does not build who you are - you must understand that.  Grade school and high school are to educate you for your adult life.  You don't build who YOU are until...you have the opportunity to break free of these other influences.  And the feeling is incredible, but you have to push through.  A few years of torment (which still isn't fair) isn't worth shorting yourself of what could be a lifetime of wonderful things to come!

 

When I went to my 10 year class reunion, I saw 2 sides that made me proud of my classmates. 

 

1.  I saw some people that I was shocked to see, because I remember them being bullied.  It took amazing courage for them to come back to a place where people weren't always nice to them...and you know....everyone got along great.  Good for them for showing up and saying "Hey...my life is great."

 

2. I sat with a woman who was a very popular girl in high school.  She looked at me and said "I just really wish "so and so" would have come to the reunion.  I really wanted to apologize to her, I wasn't nice to her when we were little".  That was about 20 years before hand...but she grew up and she genuinely felt bad about this, and wanted to tell her she was sorry. 

 

So my own story.  I hated bullying - I never took part of it through high school/grade school.  I stood up for those getting made fun of, but still one thing always sticks in my mind.  When I was in first grade - only....6 years old... I was playing with a girl in my class for a few days, and then 2 other kids pulled me aside and said I shouldn't be friends with her because "she isn't cool".  6 years old.  I stopped playing with her.  I didn't say anything mean to her or pick on her...but she had no idea why I abandoned her.  6 years old.  That girl grew up, with people being rude to her all through high school...what I did seemed so minor...I just stopped talking to her....at 6 years old.  But I thought about it ever day, and I still do.

 

*Sara Nelson, from Park Rapids...I apologize to you.  Maybe you don't even remember us hanging out in first grade, but I do.  I hope you are living a good life, and I respect you for hanging in there in a school full of students that didn't always treat you well.*

 

Never say hurtful things to someone.  Yes, sometimes we have to say things people may not want to hear, but really think about it.  Think about how this could affect that person, and also remember that we NEVER fully understand what another person is going through, so before you judge them, stop and think about WHY you feel the need to!   

 

To the kids who are currently facing these struggles at school...this is not just to say "get through it" - use resources to help you.  Talk with your parents, talk to your counselors at school, talk to counselors outside of school, go to support groups, find online support...do these things in order to push through.  Your life will get better, once it becomes your own. 

 

Do you think this blog doesn't apply to you because you don't bully? Good for you. Stand up for what you believe in. Help these kids. NO ONE deserves to be hurt...ever. Stand up for these kids, befriend them. Help them. Will you get bullied for doing so? Then to the next person "stand up for these kids, befriend them. Help them." Fighting for what you believe in, fighting to make a person feel good is so much more than picking on someone because you have nothing better to do that be a jerk. Do what's right. Don't worry what people will think - because you could be the one person who may just save someone's life for giving an ounce of care.  Don't be the person who says "I should have said something" when it's too late. 

 

Everyone deserves the opportunity of a long happy life.  Help each other get through the younger years.  It's such a small portion of life, and while it seems like everything to you at the time - that's only because it's all you know.  Be strong and push through those hard times.  Give yourself the opportunity to experience the REAL life you deserve...you'll amaze yourself.