Last year I remember saying "2011 is going to be my year. I will own it"
Well...truth is, no one can ever PLAN to have a good year. But as long as you don't EXPECT a bad one, and don't just think it's going to happen on it's own...well...then you're at least on sane ground I suppose. So 2011 thus far brought me deaths, the move of Tom, the move of the kitties, a tragic loss of a new kitty, and some expenses/stresses I never saw coming. It's barely October. 3 months to go until this year is over.
It wasn't a bad year, but certainly not at all what I had planned. We cannot plan our happiness. BUT...we can plan the events that lead to our happiness.
I've done a lot of reflecting over the last....well....I don't know. I think I've been doing it for a while.
Sometimes, we make mistakes. Might be something as small as "I shouldn't have eaten that". Could be something a little bigger such as "I really should have used that money toward this bill" or it could be something big enough that just shouldn't be mentioned here. Regardless, we can't dwell on them...just accept these things and move forward. It's whether or not we learn from these mistakes that build who we are. Some mistakes I have made dozens of times, and then...finally I get tired of it, and I learn. Other times, it only needs once.
My point is...I'm going to be 30 in less than 3 months. I don't want to hear any "you'll love it" or "30 is the new 20" - because it's not really where I'm going with this. My point is that I'm almost 30 and there are some things that I had hoped would be different by now....and they aren't. Some of those things are out of my control, but guess what? Not everything is.
I've already made 2 plans for the winter to finish the base moulding and the fluted moulding in the living room. This weekend I will be painting one of the bedrooms and tearing up the carpet. I'm hauling a truckload of junk to the dump, and I'm finally cutting down that bastard tree that keeps scraping the side of my house outside the bathroom. I've started my gym routine again, I'm going to go to bed earlier, I'm not going to drink vodka tonics if I already have a buzz, I'm going to make it every priority to get 2 bills paid OFF by January 1st, and then use that extra money toward other bills.
Guess what? My car will probably have problems, my heat bills will probably get out of control, something will be emotionally damaging - that's just what happens. BUT...I will get through it, and I will keep pushing forward, and I will keep striving for these goals to get where I want to be. I'm not going to wait until 2012, so forget the title of this blog. I start now.
Don't wish me luck. Wish me strength.
Sometimes we look at our lives and we see all the BIG things that need changing. But sometimes we look at it wrong. It's much easier if we focus on the little things, that bring the "BIG" ones down to a manageable size, or better yet, make them disappear.
Since I recently watched Bridesmaids, and this classic 1990 song seems appropriate, I will leave you with this - laugh if you will...deep down...you know you love it :) :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIbXvaE39wM
