I just posted on Facebook "sweating out of my earholes". That's pretty accurate. Let me explain. I've battled for many years with trying to lose weight. I've probably lost like 250 lbs if you add up all the times I've lost the same 10! A few years ago I lost 29.8 lbs. That was my record. Then over time I gained about 37 back. Hmph.
Well...throughout all of this, I've still remained active, but not increasingly active. Same activities, gym, walking the pup, volleyball, wallyball...but never really bumping it up.
I lost my pup in August. After swallowing several struggles and always being happy to bounce back when I saw that face..that was the straw that broke the camel's back. It wasn't just the missing her, it was everything that she healed....reopening. I don't expect that to be understood...she just...she was the best part of my day. That's it. Love my friends, family, life, but regardless of what struggle was at hand...she was never a part of the tough times. So...bottom line is I lost her in August and it took MONTHS to get - I don't want to say "happy" or "better" but "rejuvenated". In December I realized there were many things I was just losing interest in, places I didn't want to go, people I didn't want to see, and to top it off - none of my clothes were fitting and I was at a point of accepting that.
I felt unhappy and therefore wasn't caring much about my appearance. I didn't care much about my appearance, and therefore felt unhappy. I'm going to skip over the more personal stuff and cut to the chase...basically one day I realized I just don't want to fall victim to my own mistreatment. I don't want to wake up at 50 and feel like I'm 80.
So....on December 28th, I said "Screw New Years, I'm starting now!", and I started eating right, and even bit the bullet and went to a Zumba class. in about 13 weeks I lost 30.2 lbs. A new record, barely, but a record none-the less. Was it hard? Not really. That's what makes the "hard times"....HARD! I didn't have trouble at all with it, a mini vacation had some set backs, as did not getting to the gym a couple times just due to timing issues....but I bounced back easy peasy. However in the past 2 weeks, I've lingered between maintaining and gaining 5. Why? Because I've just been in a funk...nothing major just small stresses getting on my nerves. So today I vowed that that's enough slacking and that I'm not going to stop just because I broke my previous record.
So...I came home from work after a really long, exhausting day and more than anything I wanted a beer. But instead I went to Zumba...I was mopey and in a daze the whole way there thinking about internal stresses and how to handle them and that really...in the grand scheme of life....they are nothing. They are blessings really. "Ohhh waaa...work is tough" - I have a job. "Ohhh waaaa I want my kitchen remodel finished" - I have shelter. Shut up, self. So I got to Zumba....and it was a blast - and literally - that's the most I've sweat in a couple months...and I go to Zumba 3+ times/week! I felt and still feel great. Disgusting, but great - and I feel like I've got that little extra umph to get back on track!
Every time I do well with losing, I get confident and then when I stop losing, well...it seems like a public defeat. I hate that. Is it going to happen again? Let's be honest - of course the potential exists...but I feel great and I have the motivation and confidence to say...I'm looking forward the Facebook status I post that says "Today...down 50 lbs". I hope to have that written sometime over the summer.
For now, my happy, sweaty, disgusting self...is calling it a day. Good night all.
